Quotes on Computers

Technology: the knack of so arranging the world that we don't have to experience it.
~ Max Frisch
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The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity.'
~ Clifford Stoll
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User, n. The word computer professionals use when they mean "idiot."
~ Dave Barry
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I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
~ Thomas Watson,
Chairman of IBM, in 1943
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User, n. The word computer professionals use when they mean 'idiot'.
~ Dave Barry
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If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer.
~ Author Unknown
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Access to computers and the Internet has become a basic need for education in our society.
~ Kent Conrad
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Computing is not about computers any more. It is about living.
~ Nicholas Negroponte
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Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.
~ Isaac Asimov
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I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
~ Isaac Asimov
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Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
~ Joseph Campbell
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Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra
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The fantastic advances in the field of electronic communication constitute a greater danger to the privacy of the individual.
~ Earl Warren
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The best computer is a man, and it's the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labor.
~ Wernher Magnus Maximilian
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Man is a slow, sloppy, and brilliant thinker; computers are fast, accurate, and stupid.
~ John Pfeiffer
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That's the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they really hate is lousy programmers.
~ Larry Niven
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Computers don't kill books; people do.
~ Douglas Rushkoff
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Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in this world that just don't add up.
~ Evan Esar
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Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
~ Pablo Picasso
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The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before.
~ Bill Gates
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Computers are incredibly fast, accurate and stupid; humans are incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant; together they are powerful beyond imagination.
~ Albert Einstein
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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
~ Andy Rooney
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Computers have lots of memory but no imagination.
~ Author Unknown
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After growing wildly for years, the field of computing appears to be reaching its infancy.
~ John Pierce
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Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.
~ Clifford Stoll
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The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.
~ Sydney J. Harris
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I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
– Thomas Watson
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Press any key to continue or any other key to quit…
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
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Computers have lots of memory but no imagination.
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The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before.
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Hard Drive: The part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.
– Dave Barry
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Why are so many viruses aimed at windows ? It crashes just fine on its own thank you!
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I had a life once… Now I have a computer and a modem.
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When all else fails, read the manual.
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Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
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Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked.
– Jeff Pesis
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DOS never says : EXCELLENT command or filename.
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The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim.
– Edsger W. Dijkstra
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First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII – and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we’ve realized it’s a brochure.
– Douglas Adams
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To err is human. To really foul things up requires a computer.
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Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
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A computer is like the union, it never works unless you spend money on it.
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Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry.
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Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind.
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The computer is a product of the human mind. The computer does not perform without the control of the human mind.
– Dr T.P.Chia
by: Ivy Lee
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“Username or Password incorrect.” TELL ME WHICH ONE YOU SON OF A B*TCH.
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Unix never says ‘please’.
– Rob Pike
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That frustrating moment when you can’t remember your password.
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Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…
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In a world without borders, who needs Windows and Gates ?
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Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.
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A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
– Mitch Ratcliffe
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Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows.
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Human brain is a computer…the difference is that we don’t have any backup or restore.
by: gagan
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I was asked to have a password of 8 characters, so I chose mine as “Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs”.
by: Chloe
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If your password is your name, you deserve to be hacked.
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There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer.
– J.H. Goldfuss
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Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.
– John F. Kennedy
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Now that nearly everyone has access to a computer, could we possibly be turning from the rat race to the mouse race?
by: Robert D Dangoor
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Mac users swear by their computers. PC users swear at their computers.
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RAM disk is not an installation procedure.
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The inside of a computer is as dumb as hell but it goes like mad! – Richard Feynman
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A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind.
– Joseph Weizenbaum
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After growing wildly for years, the field of computing appears to be reaching its infancy.
– John Pierce
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Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. – Joseph Campbell
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User: The word computer professionals use when they mean “idiot.”
– Dave Barry
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The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord.
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Computing is not about computers any more. It is about living. – Nicholas Negroponte
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Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
– Edsger W. Dijkstra
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I changed all my passwords to ‘incorrect’. So my computer just tells me when I forget.
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Those who say “If I can rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together.” have obviously never seen a computer keyboard.
by: Jessie
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Multitasking is crashing up several things at the same time…
by: sumit
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We BYTE People…A BIT at a time
by: Chetan
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Giga bite me
by: Jenna May
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An apply a day keeps Microsoft away.
by: Tim
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Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
– Martin Fowler (refactoring: improving the design of existing code, ----------------------------------------)
by: Jogai
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I keep hitting the escape button on my keyboard but I’m still here.
by: Candy Goods
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I often fall asleep in front of my computer, and it accompanies me in sleep mode.
by: angus Brennan
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There are only two hard problems in computer science: cache invalidation and naming things.
– Phil Karlton
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History always tells a story…So make sure you clear it before your dad uses the PC!!
by: Steve
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“I need some time to process this”, said a computer to another after a break-up.
by: Rahul Ramabhadran
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Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
– Pablo Picasso
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The pen might be mightier than the sword but the keyboard trumps them both.
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I can’t see an end. I have no control and I don’t think there’s any escape – I don’t even have a home anymore. Definitely time for a new keyboard.
by: Jevin
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My software has no bug. It develops random features.
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