pranks jokes

Brains are awesome...
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I wish everyone had one!
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Its hard to find a good friend who is
90% funny
95% sexy
100% perfect...
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So, whatever you do just don't lose me!
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The best 'Prank Call' ever:
"Hello KFC?"
"Yes, how can I help you sir?"
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"I want McDonalds number!"
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Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you...
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are not!
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Just Go To Hell,
Yes You
You Only
Because only You .
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can change - Hell into Heaven, by your sweetness!
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If it walks like a duck;
And talks like a duck.
It simply means - you're drunk;
Because...
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Ducks don't talk!
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A camel, a cow and a donkey were discussing 'who is best'?
Cow: I give milk.
Camel: I move heavy loads.
Donkey: ...
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What are you waiting for, say something about yourself!
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I just want to sit down and watch a nice movie with a girlfriend.
Can anyone recommend...
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a nice girlfriend?
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Life is too short to be serious all the time.
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So if you can't laugh at yourself, call me - I'll laugh at you!
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Having a good laugh with a friend like you stimulates endorphin's, the brain's natural painkillers. So, if you need to laugh and you can't find a friend like yourself,
I can lend you my mirror!
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WARNING WARNING WARNING
Please forward this warning to everyone on your friends list. If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to warm weather and asks you to take off your clothes and dance around with your arms up.
DO NOT DO THIS!! THIS IS A SCAM!!! They only want to see you dance naked. I wish I'd got this yesterday... I feel so stupid!
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Sweetest kiss - on the head!
Loveliest kiss - on cheeks!
Most romantic kiss - on the lips!
And the hottest kiss?
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On the bike's silencer!
PRANKS / KISS  
Take your age.
Add 2.
And that's how old you'll be in 2 years.
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Forward, if it works for you!
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You are Ultimate,
You are Lovely,
You are Likable,
You are Unique,
In short, you are ULLU!
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Simply innocent eyes; An affable personality;
That infectious smile; Almost perfect gait.
In short - absolutely gorgeous.
That's enough about me.
How about you?
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Importance of thumb:
Children use it for chewing,
Illiterate people use it for sign,
Winners for victory,
And my Fans use it for reading my messages,
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Oh! you too!
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Nice people are like wind.
You can only feel their presence and sincerity.
Don't look here and there to find them.
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Just look at the name of sender!
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Great people talk about things.
Small people talk about other people.
And legends never talk -
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they send MESSAGES!
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I saw something in the shop window today. It was simply stunning, sexy, cute and adorable.
I wanted to buy it for you - till I realized...
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it was my own reflection!
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How sweet is your pose.
How sharp is your nose.
How sweet are your eyes.
See how sweetly I tell lies!
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However high the sky may be.
However wide the river may be.
However strong the wind may be.
Just remember,

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it's none of your business!
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Today I walked on the road, Suddenly 5 policemen surrounded me.
I got amazed and enquired from the police, "Why are you surrounding me?"
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Police: Because the govt. ordered "Save our Tigers"!
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Your smile can be compared with flowers;
Your voice can be compared with a cuckoo;
Your innocence can be compared with a baby;
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But in foolishness, you have no comparison!
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A question for brilliant people...
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Didn't you read it - Question only for brilliant people.
You relax and have a nice week!
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Hi!
Can we meet?
It's been so long since we last met.
I shall visit you soon and... please tell me where should I come - to the same...
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Zoo or you've been moved to some Circus?
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The world is full of foolish people who answer everything in No.
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Are you also the one?
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From Morning till Evening;
From Sunday to Saturday;
From 1st to 31st;
From January to December;
And from Birth till my Death, my feelings for you have never changed.
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For me, you've always been a headache!
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21st Century is truly Lifeless.
Communication: Wireless
Cooking: Fireless
Youth: Jobless
Messages: Meaningless
Sender: Priceless
Reader: Useless
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This message is strictly for smart and intelligent people;
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And if you have received it... then obviously it's a technical error!
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How do you keep a fool busy for hours?
Scroll Down! --->










<----- Scroll Up!
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Say
'e'
'ee'
'eee'
'eeee'
'eeeee'
'eeeeee'
'eeeeeee'
'eeeeeeee'
'eeeeeeeee'
'eeeeeeeeeee'
Very Good, I just taught you how to have a big wide smile.
You must practice it everyday after brushing your teeth!
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I smell
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very nice after a bath. Even you should try it sometime!
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You are: 20% Fantastic,
20% Attractive,
20% Love able,
20% Terrific,
and 20% Understandable.
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In short, you are 100% F.A.L.T.U.
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You are the one who is Charming,
You are the one who is Intelligent,
Your are the one who is Cute.
And I am the one who is...
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spreading these rumours!
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This message contains a virus that effects the brain.
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You're damn lucky. This virus couldn't effect you as it couldn't find it!
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May bad fortune follow you all your days...
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and never catch up with you!
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Think Well
Plan Well
Do Well
Sleep Well
Play Well
Laugh Well
And throw your mobile also into a well... because you are not messaging me well!
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It's a humble request to all my dear friends not to send messages like "Forward to 10 people, otherwise you'll have misfortune" or "Bad Luck shall follow you for 10 years" or "Dekhte hi Like Karo"... because this does not change or luck.
Luck does not change by forwarding messages, it changes with hard work and dedication.
Must forward this message to all your friends if you want to get good news in 24 hours!
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When your life is in darkness, pray to God, ask him to free you from darkness. And if you still remain in darkness,
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Please pay your Electricity Bill!
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Tum Apun Ko Itna Message Karta Hai.
Apun Ko Reply Karne Ko Majbor Karta Hai.
Kya Iss Ke Peechay Koi Plan Hai;
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Ya Auron Ki Tarah Tum Bhi Apun Ka Fan Hai!
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I'm on a mission. A mission: To avoid you; To forget you;
To not to talk to you;
To not to think about you anymore.
In short, it's
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MISSION IMPOSSIBLE!
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A simple way to impress any girl:
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If you know it, please apply it. What are you looking here?
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When you are restless at all times;
When you feel angry and irritated;
When you feel lazy and lethargic;
When you lose interest in everything;
When there's no brightness in your life...
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Stupid, it doesn't mean that there's no electricity.
It simply means you badly need a vacation!
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Think of any of the below numbers:
100
200
250
300
400
500
600
750
1000
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Now get my phone charged for the amount you thought. Then I shall tell you, how much balance did I get.
Don't laugh it off, hurry up!
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Have you done two of the most important things when you woke up today?
1. Pray, so that you may live.
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2. Take a bath so that others may live, too!
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If I were an artist, you would be my picture.
If I were a poet, you would be my inspiration.
If I were an author you would be my story.
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But when it comes to you, I would rather prefer to be a cartoonist!
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Your network has changed the call charges. Now tariffs are calculated as per your IQ. The lesser the IQ, the cheaper the call rates.
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Congrats, now you can make almost free calls!
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God created the Earth;
God created the nature;
God created the Oxygen;
God created the life cycle;
And God created you, too!
Yes, even God can make mistakes!
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What is the full form of 'EIDK'?
Think?
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Try again?
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Don't know? Ok! Give up?
E = Even
I = I
D = Don't
K = Know!
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Good friends are not easy to obtain;
Once obtained, they're difficult to maintain;
One maintained, they're difficult to sustain;
Once lost, they're simply impossible to regain!

Moral: Take good care of me, you lucky brat!
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You're such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you a lot and think of you often!
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Heart touching lines:
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___________________♥
___________________♥
___________________♥
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Look, all are touching hearts!
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I asked GOD - Why all my group members are so sweet, kind-hearted, charming, cute and hot!
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GOD said - Son, whosoever comes into your contact, he becomes like you only!
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Ab ki Baar...
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Tu CHUTIYA Ban Gaya Yaar!
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Everyone should have at least two friends:
One to talk to;
And one to
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talk about.
I really forgot as to which one is you!
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Welcome to the season of:
Smooching
Squeezing
Licking
Sucking
and getting dirty!
Don't tax your brain so much...
It's Mango season!
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Sometimes... I think
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Sometimes... I don't!
Aisa hi Chalta hai Mera. Koi fix Nahi hai...
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My love for you has no boundaries, even to hell I follow you!
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Hi Friends,
We have got US Visa for 5 years and we will be leaving for New York in 10 days. My current mobile number will remain switched off for at least one month.
My new number in US would be +1-834-245-9843.
I'll miss you all but will be here with you on this wonderful Whatsapp group at all times... .
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That's the dream that I had, last night!
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Why do you think I SMS you so much? Is it because:
I care for you?
Or I miss you?
Or I love you?
Or I need you?
It's because I need an idle person for time pass!
Happy April Fool!
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Sacche Doston ki 3 Nishaniyan:
1) Kamine Kabhi call nahi karenge.
2) Zalim has-has ke message padhenge.
3) Chahe jitni beizzati karlo, Besharam Message pura padhenge!
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God has its own way of keeping everything in balance. That's why he made me your friend. So never mind, if you're ugly and stupid!
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Zindagi Mein Jab Aapko Koi Raasta Dikhai Na De.
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Koi Manzil,
Koi Dost,
Yeh Koi Apna Dikhai Na De..
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Then call me, Main Tumhe "Eye Specialist" Ke Paas Le Chalunga!
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Flowers + Butterfly = A beautiful scene.
Stars + Moon = A romantic night.
Rain + Monsoon = A lovely weather.
You + Your smile = Bhaago Bhoot Aaya!
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Caller: Hello, Roshni hai?
Listener: Nahi.
Caller: Toh, Saale - candle jala!
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True love is like a pillow.
You can hug when you are in trouble;
You can cry when you are in pain;
And you can embrace when you are happy.
So when you need true love spend 200 bucks and buy a pillow!
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Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can't laugh at yourself, call me - I'll laugh at you!
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Breaking News:
3 days holiday declared in all Central and State govt. offices.
As a result, all schools and college shall also remian closed due to "Bharat Bandh"!
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So sit at home on 29,30 and 31st February and just chill!
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My love for you has no boundries, even to hell I follow you!
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Life has many ways to make you weak;
But always remember 3 things that will keep you strong.
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Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner.
Think Hatke & Eat Datke.
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Jab Tum Hanstey Ho To Lagta Hai Ki Insaan Pehle Bandar Tha.
Dekho Gussa Mat Karo Kyounki Jab Tum Gussa Karte Ho To
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Lagta Hai Ki Insaan Aaj Bhi Bandar Hai!
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When the only 'Light' in your life is suddenly gone... it's time to
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'Recharge' your phone's battery!
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Aapko.
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Hum sirf aapko..
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Aur aapko...
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Arre aapko....
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Haan Haan Aapko.....
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Baba Aapko Aapko, only Aapko aur kisi ko nahi......
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Bas Aapko, Hamesha tang karenge!
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The probability of forgetting something is directly proportional to...
to...
to... uh... oh never mind!
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In this cruel world, it is very difficult to find friends with a beautiful heart, worldly wisdom, attractive personality and stylish looks. So
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learn to value me!
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Beautiful Lines:
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
Next time, I'll send you beautiful circles!
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It is a sad fact that 20% of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the remaining end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!
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Dear friend,
Remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom;
And without ugliness there can be no beauty.
So the world needs YOU after all!
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Smile will make you look beautiful.
So always keep smiling!
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Stop being weird by smiling... it won't work for you!
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If you read this really hilarious joke, you'll simply die laughing.
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I really care for you well-being. That's why I didn't send the message to you!
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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue;
Tuberose are White and Pansies are multi-coloured.
I bet you were
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expecting something romantic;
But these are just colouring lessons for you!
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You're Cute
You're Hot
You're Sweet
You're Intelligent
You're Amazing
You're Perfect
And I am liar!
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Friends are like mirrors as they are our reflections.
You're damn lucky as I am quite good looking!
PRANKS / FRIENDSHIP  
Pronounce this as fast as you can if you are a genius:
Eye, Yam, Stew, Peed!
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Yeh Awaaz Pehchano:

Dhee choo
Dhee choo
Dhee choo
Dhee choo
Dhee choo
Dhee choo
Dhee choo
Dhee choo

Maine Awaaz Pehchanne Ko Kaha Tha, Nikalne Ke Liye Nahi!
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November 26
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Morning, 06:32
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Nothing happened...
Get back to work.
All day long, you're simply enjoying my messages!
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I like watching you and I like to spend my time with you; But you are always surrounded by people... being the main attraction of the Zoo!
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Five facts about You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You
1. You're so lazy You didn't read all the Yous.
2. You didn't notice I put a Yoo.
3. You are now looking to find out.
4. You are laughing because you realize there is no 'Yoo' and you've been tricked.
5. You are going to forward this to others who are like 'YOU'!
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Please answer in 'Yes' or "No' only:
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Has your wife stopped abusing and beating you?
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Sachin fans watching CRICKET;
Salman fans watching his MOVIES;
Sania fans watching TENNIS;
And my fans are always busy reading my 'Messages'.
Ohh God! They're simply crazy fans!
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Don't believe that every sweet person in your life will remain the same; because even the best chocolate has an expiry date.
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Me?
Don't worry, I'm like a fine wine, no expiry date - the older the tastier!
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Think Big
Think Positive
Think Smart
Think Beautiful
Think Great
I know that is too much for you; So here is a shortcut...
JUST THINK ABOUT ME!
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Fun Prank:
Put Rs 10,000 in an envelope and mail it to me. It shall sure leave me stunned...

I swear about it. If you don't believe it, do it right now before someone else steals this idea and implements it before you do!
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I'm on my way to the hospital right now...
My neighbour's kid swallowed my 4GB memory card; and now he is
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busy singing all the songs on the memory card. I am praying that he doesn't get to the video section anytime soon!
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Cheese is Cheez;
But Better is Butter.
If you forget me;
I'll throw you in a Gutter!
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Can I take your picture? I simply love taking wild life photography!
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If some day I praise you for your:
1. Good looks
2. Nature
3. Style or
4. Attitude
Please don't believe me, as I might be drunk!
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Do you know you're a BITCH.
B: Beautiful
I: Intelligent
T: Talented
C: Cute and
H: Hilarious
So you're smiling now, BITCH!
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You are very special to me. I don't want to lose a friend like you.
I always pray that you should be safe. So please be careful whenever you
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jump from one tree to another!
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Please answer only in 'Yes' or 'No'.
Does your family members know that you're
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INSANE?
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Today's thought:
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Don't always depend on my thoughts. Try to think of your own, sometimes!
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I badly want a KISS. Please KISS me quickly. Please hurry up. Sad, there's no one.
Now I know, why you're shirking. Because you don't what it actually means. It means:

K: Koi
I: Intresting
S: SMS
S: Send Karo
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The moment I see you, I feel like giving you a punch on your mouth with
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my lips - softly and gently as I adore you a lot!
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Can you read fast in English?
My
A my;
They my;
They they my;
A my they na my;
Compliments,you can be a successful beggar.
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Almost 83% of boys failed this test.
Wanna be a genius? Then answer this question:
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What's your girlfriend's name?
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Raj escapes into a Jungle on Sunday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves Jungle on Sunday...
How's it possible?
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Don't know? Even I don't know, that's I am asking you!
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Do you know as to why people are jealous of you?
Is it because you're very smart or is it that you're very cute and handsome?
No! It's simply because you've
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a friend like me!
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Do you know why cool and amazing people are always busy?
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I'll tell you later because right now, I am pretty busy!
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Three monkeys escaped from the zoo today.
One was caught watching TV;
Another playing cricket;
And the third one
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No, it's not you.
Why do you always think you're a monkey? You're a donkey!
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Everyone has an ugly friend. If you don't have an ugly friend, well, then...
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it is really awkward!
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How to impress a beggar?
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I cant believe it. You're interested in this also!
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If you want success in life, try to be
Sweet like Honey;
Fresh like Rose;
Soft like Tissue;
Strong like Rock;
Sure like Death;
And Smart like ME!
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Think Big
Think Smart
Think Positive
Think Beautiful
Think Great
I know this is too much for you, so here is a shortcut...
Just think about ME!
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WARNING message for your good health:
Please don't eat
Chips
Pizzas
Burgers
Ice Creams
And Chocolates
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without me!
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Roses are Red;
Violets are Blue;
Your parents are beautiful;
What happened to you?
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In the morning, I don't eat because I think of you;
In the afternoon, I don't eat because I think of you;
In the evening, I don't eat because I think of you;
At night, I can't sleep because I am hungry!
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Beauty is not how you look;
It is not how handsome you are;
Beauty is simply about your inner-self.
So you must change your under-garments daily!
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When you get this message, send it to:
One person you love;
One you always hated;
One you always think of;
And the one you wish to kill.
Now, keep guessing why I sent it to you!
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Life is full of beautiful things:
Soft sunsets, painted rainbows, delicate blossoms, love and laughter, quiet moments and fantastic people like me.
Enjoy it!
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Those who like me, raise your hand...
And those who don't, raise your standards!
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When I send you an SMS, it's not important that you do the same.
You can also send me
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Cash, Clothes, Fragrances, Gold...
Now hurry and start sending it!
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Money can buy:
A bed but not sleep;
A house but not a home;
Medicines but not health;
A companion but not a friend.
Money is dirty, it only cause pain and suffering.
Send me all your money and always be happy!
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What's the difference between a Monkey and a Donkey?
A Monkey would save this message and a Donkey would delete this message.
The choice is yours.
Note: Please take it easy, friends. Even I couldn't decide whether to save it or delete it. So I forwarded it.
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What do you do when you see an extremely cute person? I stare at the person and smile, but when I get tired, I just put the mirror down.
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Things to do today:
1. Dig a hole
2. Name it love
3. Watch people fall in love
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I heard that you took a test and the results were negative. I am so happy for you but I would have loved it if it were not an IQ test!
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I have a disease. It's called awesomeness. But don't worry it's not contagious!
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Eyes: To look at you;
Hands: To pray for you;
Mind: To care for you;
Heart: To love you and;
Legs: To kick you if you forget me.
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Sometimes my mind asks:
Why I remember U?
Why I care 4 U?
Why I miss U?
Then my brain answers, "Psychiatry patients need more care".
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Look at the Ocean & see God's abundance;
Look at the Sky & see God's glory;
Look at the Moon & see God's wonder;
Look at the Mirror & see God's blunder!
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Every man dreams of a beautiful woman.
I am no different! So I . .. ... dream of your friend!
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I Iove your smile becoz
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My favorite colour is 'YELLOW'!
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Look to the left, now look to the right. That's good. I just virtually slapped you.
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Attention:
Whomsoever I've ever irritated knowingly or by mistake.
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Whatever I've done in the past was just a trailer, Baby!
Watch out the future!
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I wrote your name on sand, it got washed.
I wrote your name on the clouds, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got a Heart Attack.
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When you feel sad, just go to the mirror and say, "Damn, I really am so cute". This will cheer you up. But don't make this a habit coz liars go to hell.
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"Am I Cute" Test:
Call me if I'm cute;
Miss Call if I'm gorgeous;
Text back if I'm pretty;
Text a joke if I'm charming;
Just ignore if U are jealous!
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I have started luving 'U'. I know, it sounds ridiculous but I can't control my feelings for 'U'. Soon I'll start loving more ALPHABETS!
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When U smile, the world smiles with U;
When U are down, people'll rally behind U;
But when U fart, U are alone coz people'll never stand by U!
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Sincere Apology: If U don't like any of my SMS & don't like to read them, then plz don't hesitate, feel free to throw ur mobile!
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Scientists all over the world are wondering how long a human being can live without a brain. So kindly tell them ur age.
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What happened 2 ur network? I tried to call U but the operator said "Welcome 2 the jungle, the monkey U r trying to call is on the tree, Plz try later."
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I wanted to kill the sweetest, smartest and most beautiful person on earth. Then it came to my mind that committing SUICIDE is a crime under Sec 309 IPC.
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Look at the world around u;
U`ll see God`s creativity.
Look at the breakfast table;
U`ll see God`s providence.
Look at the mirror;
U`ll see God`s sense of humor.
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Friendship is like peeing in ur pants. Everyone can see it but only U can feel it's true warmth. Thanks for being the pee in my pants.
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You should do two things in the morning:
1) Pray to God so you can live
2) Have a shower so others can live.
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Do u know Y smart people always say, "They r busy"?
?
?
?
?
?
Still think?
?
?
?
?
?
(',')
I'll tell u later. Right now, I am busy!
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How do I react when I see someone extremely Cute?
I Stare
N
Stare
N
Stare
&
I Smile
&
Smile
& When I get tired, I put the mirror down!
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I heard that good looks can kill. So please don't look at me, I don't wanna see you die!
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All mornings are like paintings. U need a little inspiration to get going, a little smile to brighten up & SMS from someone like me to color ur day.
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Sweet fruits r nice 2 eat, sweet words r nice 2 say, but sweet people r really hard 2 find. My goodness, how the hell did u manage 2 find me!
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The world doesn't need more mountains to climb, more seas to cross or more stars to shine! What the world needs is more of U & UR smile. Keep smiling!
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If u want success in life; be Sweet like Honey, Regular like Clock, Fresh like Rose, Soft like Tissue, Strong like Rock, Sure like Death & smart like ME.
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It`s not that I hate you. But it's like if you were on fire and I had water, I would rather prefer bathe in it.
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Pyaar Ko Mat Chhupao, Usey Zarurat Hai Jatane Ki;
Apni Pratibhaon Ko Mat Chupao, Unhe Zarurat Hai Badhane Ki;
Ab Aur Perfume Mat Lagao, Tumhe Zarurat Hai Nahane Ki!
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TONGUE TWISTERS-----
A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk,
but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
----------
What Noise Annoys An Oyster Most?
A Noisy Noise Annoys An Oyster Most!
----------
Stop Scratching Scott's Skis,
Stop Scratching Scott's Skis,
Stop Scratching Scott's Skis,
Stop Scratching Scott's Skis!
----------
While We Were Walking, We Were Watching Window;
Washers Wash Washington's Windows With Warm Washing Water!
----------
Two Truckee Truckers Truculently Truckling;
To Have Truck To Truck Two Trucks Of Truck.
----------
Two Truckee Truckers Truculently Truckling To Have Truck To Truck Two Trucks Of Truck.
----------
Untwirling The Twine That Untwisteth Between,
He Twirls, With His Twister, The Two In A Twine,
Then Twice Having Twisted The Twines Of The Twine,
He Twitcheth The Twice He Had Twined In Twain!
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Whether The Weather Is Hot.
Whether The Weather Is Cold.
Whether The Weather Is Either Or Not.
It Is Whether We Like It Or Not!
----------
A Tutor Who Tooted The Flute,
Tried To Tutor Two Tooters To Toot,
Aid The Two To The Tutor,
Is It Tougher To Toot,
Or To Tutor Two Tooters To Toot!
----------
Luke Luck Likes Lakes.
Luke's Duck Likes Lakes!
----------
Tomorrow's Yesterday is Today,
And Yesterday's Tomorrow is Also Today.
But Today's Yesterday Was Yesterday's Today,
So Tomorrow's Today is Today's Tomorrow!
----------
Mixed Biscuits, Mixed Biscuits, A Box Of Biscuits;
A Box Of Mixed Biscuits And A Biscuit Mixer!
----------
A Skunk Sat On A Stump And Thunk The Stump Stunk,
But The Stump Thunk The Skunk Stunk.
----------
Tomorrow's Yesterday Is Today,
And Yesterday's Tomorrow Is Also Today.
But
Today's Yesterday Was Yesterday's Today,
So...Tomorrow's Today Is Today's Tomorrow.. !
----------
The World's most difficult Tongue Twister according to Guinness Book of World Records:
Sixth Sick Sikh's Sixth Sheep Is Sick!
----------
A Skunk Sat On A Stump And Thunk The Stump Stunk;
But The Stump Thunk The Skunk Stunk.
----------
There Was A Young Fisher Named Fischer,
Who Fished For A Fish In A Fissure,
The Fish With A Grin,
Pulled The Fisherman In,
Now They're Fishing The Fissure For Fischer!
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We Can't Stop Love When We Start To Love;
So Shower Your Lover With All Your Love.
A Small Favour That You Can Do For Love;
Is To Return The Love Of Your Great Love!
----------
Perspicacious Polly Perkins Purchased,
Peter Piper's Pickled Products And Peddled,
Pretty Popular Pickles To Produce A Pretty Proper Profit!
----------
A Flea And A Fly Flew Up In A Flue.
Said The Flea, Let Us Fly.
Said The Fly, Let Us Flee.
So They Flew Through A Flaw In The Flue!
----------
Feel A Feel, A Funny Feel And A Funny Feel,
A Feel And If You Feel The Feel,
I Feel.I Feel You Feel The Feel, I Feel.
----------
If You Must Cross A Course Cross;
Cow Across A Crowded Cow Crossing;
Cross The Cross Coarse Cow Across;
The Crowded Cow Crossing Carefully!
----------
One Smart Fellow, He Felt Smart.
Two Smart Fellows, They Felt Smart.
Three Smart Fellows, They All Felt Smart!
----------
There Was A Young Fisher Named Fischer,
Who Fished For A Fish In A Fissure.
The Fish With A Grin,
Pulled The Fisherman In;
Now They're Fishing The Fissure For Fischer.
----------
Love Is Not Love Without The Person Who Loves,
Without The Person Who Loves There Is No Love.
Without Love There Is No Person To Love,
But With Love There Is A Person To Love.
----------
If You Understand, Say Understand.
If You Don't Understand, Say Don't Understand.
But If You Understand And Say Don't Understand.
How Do I Understand That You Understand, Understand!
----------
Tie a Knot, Tie a Knot.
Tie a Tight, Tight Knot.
Tie a Knot in the Shape of a Nought!
----------
How Much Wood Would A Woodchuck Chuck,
If A Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood?
He Would Chuck, He Would, As Much As He Could,
And Chuck As Much Wood As A Woodchuck Would,
If A Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood.
----------
One-One Was A Racehorse;
Two-Two Was One, Too;
When One-One Won One Race;
Two-Two Won One, Too!
----------
Billy Button Bought A Buttered Biscuit;
Did Billy Button Buy A Buttered Biscuit;
If Billy Button Bought A Buttered Biscuit;
Where's The Buttered Biscuit Billy Button Bought!
----------

If Two Witches Were Watching Two Watches,
Which Witch Would Watch Which Watch?
----------
Peter Piper Picked A Peck Of Pickled Pepper.
Did Peter Piper Pick A Peck Of Pickled Pepper?
If Peter Piper Picked A Peck Of Pickled Pepper,
Where's The Peck Of Pickled Pepper Peter Piper Picked?
----------
Eleven Owls Licked Eleven Little Liquorice Lollipops!
----------
Clean Clams Crammed in Clean Cans!
----------
Sheena leads, Sheila needs!
----------
I can think of six thin things; and I can think of six thick things too!
----------
Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear.
Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair.
Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he?
----------
Tomorrow's Yesterday is Today;
And Yesterday's Tomorrow is also Today,
But Today's Yesterday was Yesterday's Today;
So Tomorrow's Today is Today's Tomorrow!
----------
A tutor who tooted the flute,
Tried to tutor two tooters to toot,
Said the two to the tutor,
Is it tougher to toot,
Or to tutor two tooters to toot?
----------
Whether the weather is hot;
Whether the weather is cold;
Whether the weather is either or not;
It is weather we like it or not!
----------
A good cook could cook good!
----------
Swan swam over the pond,
Swim swan swim!
Swan swam back again - Well swum swan!
----------
The butter Betty Botter bought could make her batter bitter, so she thought she'd better buy some better butter!
----------
The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday!
----------
Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?
----------
I saw Susie sitting in a shoe shine shop.
Where she sits she shines, and where she shines she sits!
----------
How many boards
Could the Mongols hoard
If the Mongol hordes got bored?
----------
Denise sees the fleece;
Denise sees the fleas.
At least, Denise could sneeze;
And feed and freeze the fleas!
----------
There was a fisherman named Fisher;
Who fished for some fish in a fissure.
Till a fish with a grin, pulled the fisherman in.
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher!
----------
If Stu chews shoes, should Stu choose the shoes he chews?
----------
Six sick hicks nick six slick bricks with picks and sticks!
----------
Send toast to ten tense stout saints' ten tall tents!
----------
How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?
----------
Mr. See & Mr. Saw.
One day Mr. See saw sea and Mr. Saw didn't see sea. See saw sea and jumped in the sea. Saw didn't see sea but jumped in sea. See saw Saw in sea and Saw saw See in sea. See saw both Saw and sea and both Saw & See were happy to see sea!
----------