Jokes on boy n girl

Girlfriend: Prove me that you care about me.
Boyfriend took out his phone off the charger and plugged in hers!
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After First Date:
Boy: I really had a great time, I'd love to see you again.
Girl: Yeah sure, we should do this again sometime but with other people!
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Girl: What's your hobby?
Boy: Traveling!
Girl: Awww... same here.
Boy: Kyon Tum Bhi Bus Conductor Ho?
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Boy: Will you marry me?
Girl: What's your status?
Boy: Hey there! I am using WhatsApp!
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Girl: Shravan Mein Bhi Daaru Peete Ho, Disgusting!
Boy: Hum Bhagwan Ko Dil Mein Rakhte Hain, Liver Mein Nahi!
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A boy met a girl in Metro.
Girl: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.
Boy: Awwww... Are you single?
Girl: No, I am a Dentist!
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Girl: We have been together for 3 years. Aage Ka Kya Plan Hai?
Boy: Bas Ab Koi Achhi Si Ladki Dekh Kar Shaadi Kar Lunga!
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Boy: You're just like a Barbie doll.
Girl: Awww... cute & beautiful?
Boy: No, plastic & brainless!
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Boy: Muskurane Ki Wajah Tum Ho...
Girl: Sachhi?
Boy: Ab Teri Shakal Hi Aisi Hai, Hansi Toh Aa Hi Jaati Hai!
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Girl: Hey, Kya Karte Ho?
Boy: CA
Girl: Wow, Charted Accountant!
Boy: Nahi Pagli, Complete Aaram!
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Boy: Chalte Chalte Yun Hi Ruk Jaata Hun Main.
Girl: Wow, you love me so much?
Boy: Nahi, Pokemon Go Khel Raha Hun!
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Girlfriend: Jaanu, Papa Ne Bola Hai Ki Agar Fail Hui Toh Rickshaw Wale Se Shaadi Karwa Denge.
Boyfriend: Chill Baby... Mere Papa Ne Bola Main Fail Hua Toh Rickshaw Hi Khareed Ke Denge!
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Boy: Have you watched V for Vendetta?
Girl: Main Pooja Hun, Vandita Woh Hai!
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Boy: Hi, can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Sure, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!
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Boy: Hey Sweetie! Please give me a kiss.
Girl: No, not before marriage.
Boy: Don't worry, I am already married!
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Difference
Girlfriend: Tum Uss Ladki Se Baat Nahi Karoge.
Boyfriend: OK Baby.

Boyfriend: Tum Uss Ladke Se Baat Nahi Karoge.
Girlfriend: How dare you? We are just friends!
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Girl: Main Kitni Moti Lag Rahi Hun Na?
Boy: Lag Nahi Rahi, Moti Hi Hai Tu!
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Girl: I want a hot boy as my boyfriend.
Boy burns self: Le Ab Toh Set Ho Ja!
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Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes
Girl: This is my first date, I want this date to be magical.
Boy: Toh Ab Kya Topi Mein Se Khargosh Nikaal Kar Dikhaoon Tumhein?
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When a guy gets jealous, it's actually kind of cute but when a girl gets jealous, World War III is about to start!
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Boy: Tunne Dekha, Uss Ladki Mein Kitna Attitude Hai?
Girl: 'Attitude' Ke Spelling Bata?
Boy: Are Nahi Attitude Nahi, Ego Bahut Hai!
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A boy met a girl in a metro.
Girl: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.
Boy: Oh! are you single?
Girl: No, I am a dentist!
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A boy and a girl chatting
Boy: Where do you live?
Girl: Indore, and you?
Boy: Out Door!
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Boy: Will you go out with me this weekend?
Girl: Sorry. I am having a headache this weekend!
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Boy calls Police: Hello? I need your help!
Police: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
Police: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning!
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Boy: Hey, you have something on your face.
Girl: The most beautiful smile in the world?
Boy: Pagal, Kabootar Ne Beeth Kar Di Hai!
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Girl: Do I look tired?
Boy: No, You look ugly!
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Boy chatting with his girlfriend:

Girlfriend: Please stay up just a little longer? I really want to talk to you.
Boy: No, sorry I have to go.
Girlfriend: Pleeeeeeeaaaaasssse?
Boy: No! My mom said if I don't go to sleep now she'll come down here and bash my head on the keyboaryujehs ndbhuji dcb fnekd xnedj ucdu ced d uf jjnu diujnend...
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Girl: Do you drink?
Boy: Tum Bolo Kal Se Chodd Dunga
Girl: Do you smoke?
Boy: Tum Bolo Kal Se Chodd Dunga
Girl: GF Hai?
Boy: Tum Bolo Kal Se Chodd Dunga!
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Boy: Tum Free Time Mein Kya Karti Ho?
Girl: Ignore!
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A girl chatting with a boy:
Girl: I love you
Boy: I love you too
Girl: Too late
Boy: You texted me at 10:55, I replied back at 10:57
Girl: What the hell were you doing at 10:56?
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Boy: Hey Sweety, Can I kiss you?
Girl: No, not even in your dreams.
Boy: In my dreams you're the mother of two kids!
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Girl: Mere Pet Mein Tumhare Prem Ki Nishani Hai.
Boy: Lekin Maine To Aisa Kuch Bhi Nahi Kiya.
Girl: Arre, Tumne Mujhe Cadbury Di Thi Na, Wo Maine Abhi Khayi Hai.
Boy: Zara Theek-Thak Mazak Kiya Kar!
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Shortest rejected proposal:
Boy: Tere Kitne Bhai Hai?
Girl: Tujhe Mila Ke 3
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Boy: Sad Kyon Ho?
Girl: Mere Parents Mere Haath Peele Karna Chahte Hain.
Boy: Is Mein Bura Kya Hai, Tum Shaadi Ke Layak Ho Gayi Ho.
Girl: But Mujhe Peela Rang Nahi Pasand "I Love Pink"!
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Boy: Your favorite cuisines?
Girl: Gaurav, Mohit Bhaiya, Shilpa Di... Par Chote Chacha Ki Ladki, Pinky is my favorite.
Boy: Bas Behan Bas!
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Boy: I have a pen and you have a phone number, think of possibilities.
Girl: I have a sandal and you have a face, think of casualties!
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Girl: Kuchh Aisa Bolo Ki Mere Dil Ki Dhadkan Tez Ho Jaye.
Boy: Woh Dekh Tere Papa!
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Boy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Sure, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!
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She: Why didn't you call me?
He: I met with an accident.
She: So?
He: I also met my Grandma, but I texted you!
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Boy: Mujhse Shaadi Karogi..
Girl: Kya?
Boy: Achhi Film Hai Na?
Girl: Kutte Ke Bachhe...
Boy: What?
Girl: Kitne Chhote Chhote Hote Hain Na!
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Girlfriend: Mujhe Aise Propose Karo Jaise Aaj Tak Kisi Ne Na Kiya Ho.
Boyfriend: Kutti, Kamini, Zaleel, I Love You. Mujhse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Tabah Kar De Nagin, Ab To Haan Kar De Chudail!
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Girl: Mujhe iPhone Lena Hai.
Boy: To Le Lo.
Girl: Kaun Si Company Ka Lun?
Boy: Patanjali Ka Le... Us Mein Virus Aur Bacteria Nahi Hote!
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On first Date:
Boy: Kya Logi, Beer?
Girl: Main Nahi Peeti.
Boy: To Phir Cold-drink?
Girl: Mera Matlab Main Beer Nahi Peeti, Whiskey Le Lungi!
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Boy: What do you like in me?
Girl: People change with time but you didn't.
Boy: How?
Girl: You were jobless when I met you and you're still jobless!
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Bajirao Mastaani Dekh Kar Girlfriend Ne Pucha,
"Tumhari Koi Mastaani Toh Nahi Hai Na?"
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Ab Usko Kaun Samjhaye Ki Wahi Mastaani Hai... Kaashi Toh Koi Aur Hai!
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Boy: Tum Mujhe Pyaar Karti Ho?
Girl: Yes Baby!
Boy: But Tumhein Toh Meri Koi Parwah Hi Nahi!
Girl: Pyaar Karne Wale Kisi Ki Parwah Nahi Karte!
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A boy and a girl on chat:
Girl: Hi baby
Boy: Hi... how are you?
Girl: I am fine... could you please send me 15k?
Boy: 15k! for what?
Girl: 5k for my clothes, 7k for my hair+nails and 3k for my shoes.
Boy: It's ok my love... take it...
k
k
k
k
k
k
k
k
k
k
k
k
k
k
k
Count it, it's 15k and take extra 2k
k
k
That's for your perfume!
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Boy: I have a pen, you have a phone number. Think of the possibilities.
Girl: I have a sandal, you have a face. Think of the casualties!
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Height of using Emoticons:
Boy: Kya Kal Raat Tum Party Mein Thi?
Girl: 🐘
Boy: Yeh Kya?
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Girl: Ha Thi
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Girl: Tum Bohot Besharam Ho
Boy: Wo To Main Bachpan Se Hi Hu, Main To Paida Bhi Nanga Hi Hua Tha...
Boys Always Rock...
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Ek Shehari Ladke Ko Gaon Ki Chhori Se Naya-Naya Pyaar Hua
Ladka: Jaanu Tumhe Whatsaap Chalana Aata Hai?
Ladki: Nahin Ji, Par Aap Chalana Main Peeche Baith Jaungi..!
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Boy: Why don't you had a boyfriend yet?
Girl: I am not allowed to have a boyfriend, Why don't you had a girlfriend?
Boy: Because you are not allowed to have a boyfriend yet!
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Boy: You are the sunshine of my life. Without you life's like a dreamy cloud, you are in my heart like a shinning drizzle on dry soil.
Girl: Now go further, I like listening to your weather report!
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Boy: I wanna be a superhero, guess my name.
Girl: Superman? Ironman?
Boy: No, It's Yourman!
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Boy: Tunne Dekha, Us Ladki Mein Itna Attitude Hai.
Girl: 'Attitude' Ke Spelling Bata?
Boy: Nahi Attitude Nahi, Ego Bahut Hai!
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Boy Sends Friend Request to A Girl On Facebook:
Girl: Kaun Ho Tum?
Boy: Hasrat Tumhari.
Girl: Chahte Kya Ho?
Boy: Mohhabat Tumhari.
Girl: Pachtaoge Tum!
Boy: Kismat Hamari.
Girl: Married Hun Main.
Boy: To Status Single Se Hata Manhoos Naari!
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Boy: Tum Sabhi boys Ko Bhai Kyon Bolti Ho?
Girl: Mera Koi Bhai Nahi Hai.
Boy: Tera Pati Bhi Toh Nahi Hai!
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Boy: Sweetie, let's play a game.
Girl: Which game?
Boy: Anything, but not Hide & Seek.
Girl: Why?
Boy: Because a girl like you is impossible to find!
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Boy: Tum Ladkiyan Love Marraige Kyon Karti Ho?
Girl: Anjaan Namoona Milne Se Achha Hai, Jana Pehchana Kameena Mil Jaye!
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Girl: Mujhe Kyon Dekh Rahe Ho, Tumhari Koi Behan Nahi Hai Kya?
Boy: Hai Isi Liye To Dekh Raha Hun.
Girl: Kyon ?
Boy: Meri Behan Ko Bhabhi Chahiye!
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A girl takes too much time to love and few seconds to hate;
But a boy takes few seconds to love and too much time to hate!
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Boy: I can't live without you.
Girl: Okay, then go die please!
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Boyfriend: I love it when you cry badly.
Girlfriend: Why is it so?
Boyfriend: Because that's the only moment you hug me tightly!
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Boyfriend message to his Girlfriend:
Boy: Baby Sorry to disturb you. Can you send me your Photo?
It's an urgent serious matter.
Girlfriend: Why do you need it?
Boy: I'm playing cards with my friends and I've lost my 'Queen'!
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Girl: What do you want to be married to me for, anyhow? Boy: So I can kiss you anytime I want!
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Boy: Wanna hear a joke?
Girl: Of course.
Boy: Knock, knock.
Girl: Who's there?
Boy: Marry.
Girl: Marry, who?
Boy: Marry, me?
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Boy: I love you.
Girl: Meri Chappal Ka Size Pata Hai Na?
Boy: Lo Kar Lo Baat, Friendship Hui Nahi Farmaishan Shuru!
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Boy: Why don't you get a Tattoo.
Girl: I rather prefer Lovebites!
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Girl: Will you love me forever?
Boy: I love you now, this moment.
Girl: But forever?
Boy: There is no forever but now!
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Boyfriend: You're so beautiful when you're angry.
Girlfriend: Am I not beautiful all the time?
Boyfriend: That's what I said!
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James Bond: My name is Bond, James Bond!
She: I have a Friend, Boyfriend!
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Girlfriend: Baby, my heart is beating for you.
Boyfriend: Yeh Toh Kuchh Bhi Nahi Hai, Pagli. Once my father was beating me for you!
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Boy: Sweetie, let's play a game.
Girl: What game?
Boy: Anything but not "Hide and Seek".
Girl: Why?
Boy: Because a girl like you is impossible to find!
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Girl: Will you marry me?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: When?
Boy: As soon as I complete CA.
Girl: Shaadi Nahi Karni Hai To Naa Bol Do, Faltu Bakwas Mat Karo!
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A boy commented on his Facebook status - Happy New Year.
The girl wrote in comments - Same to you.
The boy edited the comment to - I love you!
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Expecting a negative answer, a girlfriend asks: Have you ever cheated, lied or broken promise?
To satisfy his girl, the boy replied: Nothing of these, I haven't done!
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Dear Boys,
Kitchen has 'He' in it.
So stop giving your stupid logic to start learning cooking immediately.
Sincerely,
Girls!
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Girl: Why do you always follow me around?
Boy: Well because, when I was a kid my mom told me to follow my dreams!
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Boy: What's your age?
Girl: We don't reveal our age to boys.
Boy: What's your email address?
Girl: pooja.1988@gmail.com
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Irony of Life:

Little girls want Barbie Dolls and little boys want big cars.
After growing up, big girls want big cars and big boys want Barbie girls!
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Boys go to college to develop their minds;
And Girls go to college to catch them before this happens!
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Boy to a girl: Why don't you have a boyfriend?
Girl: I am not allowed to have a boyfriend... but why don't you have a girlfriend ?
Boy: Because you are not allowed to have a boyfriend yet. So simply waiting for you!
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Girl: What time do you go to sleep?
Boy: Only when you go to sleep?
Girl: Why only when I sleep?
Boy: Because then I'll have no reason to be awake!
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Boys have fun by teasing girls and then girls cry for a few minutes.
Girls have fun by loving boys and then boys cry for a lifetime!
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Boys use the word friendship to start love;
But girls use the word friendship to end love!
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Boy: Are you a dictionary?
Girl: Why?
Boy: Because you just gave me the definition of 'Life'!
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Boy: Can I confess something?
Girl: Sure.
Boy: You've the prettiest smile I've ever seen?
Girl: Can I confess something as well?
Boy: Yeah.
Girl: This smile only exists because of you!
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Girl: All my life I have been saving my kisses for a man like you.
Boy: So you are ready to lose the savings of a lifetime!
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Girl: Tell the world that you love me.
Boy whispers - I love you!
Girl: Why did you whisper it to me?
Boy: Because you are my world!
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Boy: Can I confess something?
Girl: Sure.
Boy: You've the prettiest smile I've ever seen ?
.. Girl: Can I confess something as well?
Boy: Yeah.
Girl: This smile only exists because of you!
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Boy: Hey, do you like water?
Girl: Yeah.
Boy: Good, then you already like 70% of me!
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A girl and a boy were sitting alone in the garden.
Girl: Do something which makes my heart beat faster.
Boy: Run, your father is coming!
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Tragedy of Girl's Life:
Good looking boys are not good boys;
Good boys are not good looking
Good looking and good boys are married;
Good single boys with good looks are not rich;
Rich single boys with good looks already have many girl friends!
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Girl: Would you like to be the Sun of my life?
Boy: Awwww. Yes.
Girl: Then stay 149,600,000 km away from me!
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Boy: I deleted some pics from my mobile.
Girl: Why did you delete them? We should save memory.
Boy: Yeah, that's what I did...saved memory!
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Boys' room before marriage:
Perfumes
Love letters
Gifts
Friendship Bands
Cards & Nokia E7!

After Marriage:
Painkillers,
Loan papers,
Unpaid bills & Nokia 1100!
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A girl to her boyfriend who is a Maths freak: How am I looking today?
Boyfriend: Tan C/ Sin C
Girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: Tan C / Sin C = Sin C / Cos C / Sin C = 1 / Cos C = Sec C
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Woman has Man in it;
Mrs has Mr in it;
Female has Male in it;
Madam has Adam in it.
So Girls are always incomplete without Boys!
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Why are boys so careless and irresponsible?
Because they know that somewhere a sweet and innocent girl is learning to be responsible for them anyway!
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Girl: Please don't upload your DP picture on Whatsapp.
Boy: But why?
Girl: The screen of my smartphone gets dirty with my lipstick marks!
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Girl: I hate the fact that you're taller than me.
Boy: Trust me, there is an advantage in it.
Gal: What's it?
Boy: When I hug you, you can listen to my heart which beats only for you!
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Dear Boys,
If you don't look like Calvin Klein models, don't expect us to look like Victoria Secrets angels!
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Boy: I love you!
Girl: Shut Up!
Boy: I'll die for you!
Girl: Shut Up!
Boy: I can't live without you!
Girl: Shut Up!
Boy: I'll marry you!
Girl: Really?
Boy: Shut Up!
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Boy: Adored one, may I print a kiss upon your lips?
Girl: Well-er-yes; you may print it, but you mustn't publish it!
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Girl: What's the difference between pleasure and torture?
Boy: Pleasure is thinking of you and torture is thinking of you too much!
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The girl cried piteously after her young man had proposed.
"Why are you crying, darling?" asked her lover. "Have I offended you?"
"No, dear," answered the girl. "I'm crying for pure joy. My mother always said I was such an idiot that not even a donkey would propose to me, and now one has!"
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Boy: Wanna hear a joke?
Girl: No thanks. I'm already hearin' one!
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Boy: I've never such dreamy eyes.
Girl: You've never stayed so late before!
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Boy: You look like a smart girl; let's get married.
Girl: Nothing doing, I'm just as smart as I look!
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The young couple sat at a night club and cooed heavily:
Boy: We could get married easily. My father's a minister.
Girl: Okay. Let's try it. My father's a lawyer!
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A two year old girl asked her granny how old she was. However, the granny did not know her age.
The kid said to the granny, "Don't stress, read from your panty label, mine is written 2-3 years!"
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He: For love of you I could become anything.
She: Become a millionaire!
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Boy: Your teeth are like the stars.
Girl: Awww.Thanks, are they that much pretty?
Boy: No, far away from each other!
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Boy: How do I play the guitar?
Girl: You should be on TV for your talent.
Boy: Am I so good?
Girl: If you were on TV, I can atleast switch it off!
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Boy: If you keep looking at me like that I'm going to kiss you.
Girl: Well, hurry up, I can't hold this expression much longer!
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Girl: H3Y W@t$ WR0N9?
Boy: Obviously... your spell check!
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Boy: Do you love me?
Girl: Yes, I can do anything for you.
Boy: Chal Phir, 17 ka Table Sunna.
*Blocked*
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Girl: Why do you keep posting my name on FB wall every 2 minutes?
Boy: Facebook keeps asking me what's on my mind? And honestly, it's always you!
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Boys use the word 'friendship' to start love,
But girls use the word 'friendship' to end love.
Let's be friends!
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Double Insult:
Gal: Do you like me?
Boy: No.
The girl got sad.
Boy: Why are you sad?
Gal: Because you don't like me.
Boy: You never asked whether I love you
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: No!
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Girl: What time do you go to sleep?
Boy: Only when you go to sleep.
Girl: Why only after I go to sleep?
Boy: Beacause then I don't have any reason to be awake!
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Girl: It's a shame the way you start making a pass at me after 4 drinks.
Boy: What's shameful about it?
Girl: Why spend so much money on liquor?
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Girl: Are you an MBA?
Boy: No, 8th fail... here's my Audi.
Girl: Of course, who did well in life by studying?
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Boy: Can I take your photo?
Girl: Why?
Boy: Just wanted to show my children how their mom looked in her younger age!
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Girl: Do you love me?
Biy: Yes, Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No - mine is an undying love!
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Boy: Hey, You're really hot. Wanna go out?
Girl: I have a boyfriend; and I also have a Maths test tomorrow.
Boy: What does that has anything to do with goin' out?
Girl: I thought we were both listing things we could cheat on!
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1st shock:
A girl sent an SMS to her fiancee, "We can't get married. My marriage has been fixed to someone else".
The boy was in complete shock.
2nd shock:
After about 2 minutes, the boy got another SMS from the girl, "Sorry Sorry, this message was meant for someone else!"
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Boy: Hey, do you have a pen?
Girl: Yeah, here.
Boy: Uh. It's out of ink.
Girl: No it's not.
Boy: Don't believe me? Go on, write your number!
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A boy sends a text message to his girlfriend, "You're marrying me because you love me and not my money, Right?"
Girlfriend: ¥ € $
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The typing speed of your boyfriend/girlfriend determines whether they're having multiple affairs or not!
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In India:
When a girl loves a boy, no one knows except the girl.
And when a boy loves a girl, every one knows except the girl!
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Boy: How are you?
Girl : Hi! Do I know you?
Boy: I am RICH.
Girl: Hi! I am Jessica. Nice to meet you. What is your name?
Boy: Rich is my name.
Girl: Sorry, I don't talk to boys!
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Girlfriend to her Boyfriend, "Darling, you know that handsome and smart boys always get stupid girlfriends".
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Boyfriend: Thanks for the compliment!
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Irony:
Gals like guys with good sense of humour... but all they want is a serious relationship!
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Girl: Truth or dare?
Boy: Truth!
Girl: Do I look fat in this new dress?
Boy: This is cheating, I chose 'truth' and not 'dare'!
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Girl: Isn't it disgusting the way those men are staring at that girl getting on the bus?
Boy: What bus?
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If a boy gives a love letter to a girl, people call him ''Loafer''.
But if a gal gives a letter to a boy, they call it ''Offer''.
Feel the difference.
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I know, I accept, I believe and I admit that I'm a big '0' (Zero).
I am simply incomplete without HER. And if I have HER, I shall be a
HER + 0 = HERO!
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Boy: I wanna be a superhero, guess my name?
Girl: Superman? Batman? Spiderman?
Boy: Your man.
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Guns don't kill people. Dads with good looking daughters do.
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Girl: How much do you love me?
Boy: Look at the sky and count the stars.
Girl: But, it's daytime...
Boy: Haha, exactly.
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Girl to Astrologer: I have 2 boy friends. Whom will I get married to? Who's the lucky guy?
Astrologer: 2nd one will marry you. 1st one is the lucky guy.
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Dear Mom & Dad,
You were also once teenagers. You must realise the importance of freedom & space. So please stop nagging and let me enjoy my life.
With Love,
Your Teenage Child
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Girl: How do you spell love?
Boy: You don't spell it. You feel it.
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Conversation on Whatsapp:
Boy: Call me Shona
Girl: My Shona...
Boy: Call me Sweetheart
Girl: Sweetheart...
Boy: Call me Honey..
Girl: Honey...
Boy: You stupid, give me a call on my phone!
Girl: Oh Ok Ok!
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My parents accused me of being a liar. So I looked them in the face & said, "Tooth fairy, Santa, Easter bunny" and walked away like a boss!
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Annoying Boy: Awh, you look so cute when you're mad.
Girl: Keep it up and I'm about to be gorgeous.
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6 year old boy: I love you, Mom!
Mom: My cute little darling!
18 years old boy: I love you, Mom!
Mom: Just get lost, I am not going to give you even a single penny!
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Boy: Hey, I've got two words 2 say.
Girl: What?
Boy: I Love U!
Girl: Huh... Isn't that 3 words?
Boy: No!(U)&(I) are one.
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In those days, parents wanted their girl to get married to a good boy.
Nowadays parents want their boy to get married to a good girl.
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Boy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!
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Girls' Problem: They love the ones that hurt them.
Boys' Problem: They hurt the ones they love.
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When a boy calls you cute, he likes your face.
When he calls you hot, he likes your body.
When he calls you beautiful, he likes your heart.
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Girl: I'm jealous.
Boy: Don't be jealous, baby!
Girl: Why not?
Boy: Bcoz you have something that they don't.
Girl: What?
Boy: My heart.
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You know you're in trouble when your mom screams your whole name.
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When guys lie, they say they love you. When girls lie, they say they don't.
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Girl: Describe me in one word.
Boy: Mine.
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Girl: I'm 16 and my boyfriend is 40, is that BAD?
Boy: You spelt DAD wrong.
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My parents thought my friends were bad influences, but honestly, I was usually the one coming up with bad ideas.
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When she cancels a date, it's because "she has to", but when he cancels a date, it's because "he has two".
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British boy: You look beautiful today,love.
American boy: Yo ass is kickin.
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I don't have an attitude.
I have a personality you can't handle.
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Behind every beautiful girl, there is a dumb-ass guy who did her wrong and made her strong.
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Girlfriend to Boyfriend: The time has come when we should get married.
Boyfriend: That's OK, but who will marry us?
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Girlfriend: Honey, I'm pregnant. What do you want it to be?
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Boyfriend: A Joke.
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Boy: I shall see you pretty soon?
Girl: Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?
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Boy: You're like a drug to me.
Girl: You mean I'm addictive?
Boy: Don't be stupid! I mean I can tolerate you only in small doses.
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Boy: Where are you going?
Girl: To commit Suicide.
Boy: Then, why so much of make-up?
Girl: You Idiot! Tomorrow, my photo will come in the newspaper.
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Height of conceit:
A boy proposed to a gal.
Gal: I can't accept your proposal but I salute your choice.
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Open ur Books, close Facebook & start studying!
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Pl Note: The above stunts are performed by highly skilled & trained professionals.
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When I was 17, I thought my parents were the most stupid people in the world. At 21, I was amazed at how much they had learnt in 4 years.
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Girl: How much do you love me?
Boy: Well, look at d stars & count them. That`s how much I love you.
Girl: But it`s morning.
Boy: Exactly.
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BF: Babe what r u doing?
GF Nothing much, really tired! Just going to sleep now, Honey. And you, Sweetheart?
BF: In the club, standing behind you!
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Modern breakup:
A boyfriend threw 6 Cricket Balls at his girlfriend.
Girlfriend Yelled: What`s that for?
Boy: It`s Over.
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Sweet Love:
Boy: Can I hold ur hand?
Girl: No.
Boy: Why not?
Girl: Bcoz it hurts when u leave it.
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Boy: There're 21 alphabets, right?
Girl: No, there're 26.
Boy: Oh, yeah I forgot U,R,A,Q,T.
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Girl: What do you usually do when I`m gone?
Boy: Wait for you to come back.
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Girl: You`re like a drug to me.
Boy: Why, bcoz you're hooked to me?
Girl: No, bcoz you're ruining my life.
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If a guy is ugly, girls call him a stalker. If he is good-looking, they call him a secret admirer.
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Boy: Can you just listen to me?
Girl: What?
Boy: I like you and I think there`s something missing in my hart.
Girl: I think it's an `E`.
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Break-up Style:
Boy bought a gift for his girlfriend.
Girl: What the hell would I do with this rocket?
Boy: You wanted stars na?
Now sit on it and GET LOST...
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You wanna know who your true friends are? Screw up and see who's still there.
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Boy: I wanna tell u something.
Girl: It's not good to talk while eating.
AFTER EATING
Girl: Now tell me.
Boy: There was a cockroach in ur food.
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A boy was teaching maths to a girl. He kissed her & then kissed her again & said, this is addition. Then the girl kissed him & said, this is subtraction. Then they kissed each other & said, this is multiplication. Suddenly the girl's dad came & beat the boy & threw him away & said this is called DIVISION.
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3 Ways to write exam:
Look up for INSPIRATION;
Look down for CONCENTRATION;
Look around for INFORMATION.
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I know you think I'm cute, I know you think I'm fine;
But like the other guys, take a number and wait in line!
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Wish of a contemporary girl:
I dunno want any `Prince Charming` coming on a white horse; I would rather have a `Vampire` coming in a BMW!
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Q1: Do u believe in sleeping with a total stranger?
A: Yuck! Never.
Q2: Do u believe in arranged marriages?
A: Yes, of course
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Dear Boys,
If a girl ruins her wet nail paint just to reply to your text, marry her.
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Dear Girls,
If a guy pauses his Playstation just to reply to your text, marry him.
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Dear Boy,
Kitchen has 'He' in it. So move and quickly make me sandwich.
Sincerely,
Girl.
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My son is my son till he gets a wife. But my daughter is my daughter all her life!
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When a husband stays alone for a night, the fridge gets over 100 views in just a few hours!
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Men don't become more mature as they age, they become better at hiding how immature they really are!
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Women have many faults. It's true.
While men have only two... Everything they Say and Do!
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Average Male weight - 72kgs
Average Female weight - 60kgs
Who knew a working brain weighed 12kgs more!
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Women look at weddings as a beginning of romance, while men look at weddings as an end of romance!
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Men are like Mascara, they usually run at the first sight of emotion!
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After seeing great leadership of Indian coaches, today one thing is proven...
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that if women listen to men, they can achieve wonders!
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Why do women take men for granted?
They like to believe if they can train one, they can train all!
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A man drank - forgot everything!
A woman drank - remembered and reminded everything!
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A quiet man is a thinking man.
A quiet woman is freaking pissed!
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It takes a real man to realize that one woman is enough!
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When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out.
When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she will be ready to go out, as soon as she decides her dress and finishes putting on her makeup!
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A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it!
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A woman is always right.
Sometimes they may be confused, stubborn, misinformed and senseless, but they are never wrong!
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Men, who do not understand women fall into two categories...
Bachelors and Husbands!
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I met the perfect woman once...
Sadly, she was looking for the perfect man!
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Dear Ladies,
As long as you know men are like children, you know everything!
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Rules for love: For Men: You have to know her to love her! For Women: You have to love him to know him!
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A woman's loyalty is tested when her man has nothing...
and man's loyalty is tested when he has everything!
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Women speak because they want to speak,
whereas men speak when allowed to speak!
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"Divided By Ego, United By Gossips" - Women "Divided By Women, United By Liquor" - Men
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For all the women:
If you want him to treat you like a queen then you should also start treating him like a king!
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Men may get over their Ex.
They can never get over their Xbox!
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Believe it or not, being a man is a terribly difficult task...
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since it consists principally dealing with women!
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On one issue, at least, MEN AND WOMEN agree. They both distrust women!
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A man's face is his autobiography;
A woman's face is her work of fiction!
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If men were meant to be controlled, they would have come with a remote control!
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---------- were created equal;
Buy women continued to improve!
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Men are nice people. It's proven by Friendship Day survey results.
88% wives hate their husband's friends;
Whereas 98% husbands love their wife's friends.
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On an Average Men Spend...
30% of life Sleeping
29% of life Working
And balance is spent...
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Apologising to Women!
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Who are Men?
Woh Jo Narak Mein Bhi Mile Toh Kahe, "Abe! Yamraj Ki Wife Dekhi? Aag Hai Aag"!

Who are Women?
Woh Jo Swarg Mein Bhi Mile Toh Kahe, "Apsara Dekhi? No Dressing Sense at all"!
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Women fall in love by what they hear.
Men fall in love by what they see.
That's why women wear makeup and men lie.
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Awesome conundrum:
If the woman is always right, and a man is always wrong. Then, if a man tells a woman that she's right.
Is the man right or wrong?
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Can you imagine a world without MEN?
No crime and lots of happy fat women!
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Nike was founded by a Man, so its tagline says
"Just do it!"

If 'Nike' had been founded by a woman, its tagline would have been:
"Just do it... if you want to... I don't want to force you... It's your life... I don't care... don't listen to me... Do what you want to do... Who am I to say anything!"
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Women have to deal with menstruation, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause, breastfeeding, hot flashes, etc.
Men have to deal with women!
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Most men aren't smart enough to realize that the higher you elevate your woman, the less available she is for other men.
When you break her down, you make her accessible to anyone she thinks will treat her better!
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For Men Who Think:
A woman's place is in the kitchen.
Just remember, that's where the knives are kept!
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Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
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Things men do that upset women:
1. Lie
2. Not talk
3. Be honest
4. Talk too much
5. Not show emotions
6. Be too emotional
7. Breathe!
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An example of men's inability to understand women:
She: I have nothing to wear.
He: Awesome!
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