insults messages

You should pull weird faces in photos, because sometimes...
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It's better to look ugly on purpose!
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There are naturally attractive people and then there are people like you who take pictures from good angles with the right lighting!
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I believe in Karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it!
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There's nothing like inner beauty. If you're ugly, you're ugly. That's it!
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Happy that I live in a world with Facebook.
Before that, it would have taken weeks, even months, before finding out someone was an idiot!
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You know that nice tingly feeling you get when you're falling for someone...
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That's common sense leaving your body!
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Did you know?
If you jump from Mt. Everest, it takes 53 seconds to reach to The Heaven!
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Some people walked out of my life and made it better.
Others I kicked out and made it freaking fantastic!
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I need to get on medication...
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So I can slap stupid people and blame it on the side affects!
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Common sense is like deodorant.
The people who need it the most never use it!
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OMG, you look so much better when you don't wear your glasses.
Well, you look better when I don't wear my glasses too!
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You should pull weird faces in photos, because...
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It's better to look ugly on purpose!
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I love everybody.
Some I love to be around;
Some I love to avoid;
And others I would love to punch in the face!
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I've taken up photography because it's the only hobby where I can shoot people and cut their heads off without going to jail!
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To the people who hate me:
Dear Haters,
I couldn't help but notice that, 'Awesome' ends with 'me',
And 'Ugly' starts with 'you'!
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I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient, I'll get to you shortly!
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You're dark and handsome. When it's dark, you're handsome!
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Insult:
Girl: Finally I have figured out why you look so bad in pictures?
Boy: Really, why?
Girl: Because you are really ugly!
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Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap 8 people at once!
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Sorry I didn't text you back;
Because my phone recognized your number!
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May be you should eat some makeup so you can try and be pretty on the inside.
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Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!
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Talking about me behind my back?
That means my life is obviously more interesting than yours!
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Boy: You're like a coin.
Girl: Awwww, valuable?
Boy: No, two faced!
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Everyone's entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the privilege!
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A camel, a cow and a donkey were discussing 'Who is best'?
Cow: I give milk.
Camel: I move heavy loads.
Donkey:.....
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What are you waiting for, say something about yourself!
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No Calls
No Messages
No Letters
No Visits
No Missed Calls
I'm really worried - Kya Hua Zoo Walon Ne Dobara Pakad Liya Kya?
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Most people have 5 senses.
But you are blessed with 6 senses.
And that extra sense is
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NON-SENSE!
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Insult Ki Hadh:
Girl: Mummy, Kya Main Beautiful Dikhti Hun?
Mummy: Apne BF Se Puch Le.
Girl: BF Nahi Hai.
Mummy: To Khud Hi Samjh Ja Ab!
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Promise me we are true friends,
I am lamp you are light;
I am Coke you are Sprite.
I am Sawan you are Badal;
I am Normal you are Pagal.
I am Water you are Tanki;
I am Tarzan you are Monkey!
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Don't yell at me to "get a grip" unless you mean around your neck!
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I've decided to add "extensive experience in dealing with stupid people" to my resume. That has got to be a marketable skill!
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Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one plans a murder out loud!
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I don't react doesn't mean I didn't notice!
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A Thermometer is not the only thing that gets a DEGREE without having a BRAIN!
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I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended.
Please be patient, I will get to you shortly!
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Don't feel bad if you feel ugly today
because you've been
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always ugly!
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There are 1,013,913 words in English but I could never string any of them together to explain how much I want to hit you with a chair!
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When Karma comes back to punch you in the face, I want to be there just in case it needs help!
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I'd love to punch you by accident on purpose!
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception!
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Brains are wonderful, I wish everyone had one!
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I hate two-faced people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first!
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I would like to apologize to anyone I have not offended. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly!
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Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one plans a murder out loud!
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If traveling was free you'd never see me again!
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Disease: Idiotitis
Causes the brain to shut down, and the mouth to keep talking, Thousands affected. Might be contagious.
Best defense: Slap and run!
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This is not fair,
How could you do this?
Didn't expect this from you!
Got a whole channel on your name and didn't tell even me?
Animal Planet!
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Don't like me?
Cool... I don't wake up every day to impress you!
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You're Silly
You're Sil
You're S
You're
You
Y
You
You're
You're S
You're Sti
You're Still
You're Still Si
You're Still Silly!
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Don't feel special if I text you back within 2 minutes, my phone is always in my hand!
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Do you like the way I am?
Or should I ask God to improve your taste?
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I hate it when you have to be nice to someone you really want to throw a brick at!
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Don't Worry - that you tried to be Einstein and Failed
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If Einstein had tried to be you, he'd have failed, too!
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If you're talking behind my back, then you're in a fabulous position to "KISS MY ASS!"
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I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you!
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Let's play at being a horse. I'll be the front end. You can just be yourself!
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I've disappointed a lot of people in my life, you're not special!
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Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you!
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It's okay to be ugly... but aren't you overdoing it!
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The difference between CHAMP and CHUMP is 'U'!
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Two devils came into my dreams.
They said, "We want to disturb some good person".
I suggest them your name.
They said, "We cannot disturb our boss!"
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When there were no Mobile and Internet... sometimes I use to walk for miles to tell someone "You are an Idiot`!
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Oh, I offended you with my opinion. Wait till I hear the ones I keep to myself!
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When one is Dead, only others feel the Pain... it's the same when one is Stupid!
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It usually takes five years for a tree to produce nuts, but this isn't true of a family tree!
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The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it.
If you can't stop it, you must laugh at it;
And if you can't laugh at it, you probably deserve it!
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One day I caught myself smiling for no reason, then I realized I was thinking of you!
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You're as annoying as that app that turns sideways when I lay down!
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Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an a**hole!
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Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice!
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This message is strictly for cute & charming people only.
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Since you accidentally received it,
We deeply apologize for inconvenience due to the technical error!
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You are as useless as 'AY' in 'OKAY'!
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Have u seen a monkey wrapped in plastic?
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No?
Quickly check your driving license!
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Hey friend,
Remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom and without ugliness there can be no beauty.
So the world needs you, after all!
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I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers!
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I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter!
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Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity!
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If stupidity was painful, you'd be in agony!
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Some people just need a hug... with my hands around their neck!
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You are so beautiful, sweet and faithful... it's really a pity that I do not love animals!
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I must be a 'Proctologist' because I get to work with assholes!
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You're as useless as the 'ay' in 'Okay'!
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Some idiot in a nightclub came up to me and said, "I get 20 times more girls than you do, haha."
I replied, "20 x 0 = 0!"
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I may be fat, but you're ugly - and I can diet!
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If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand and put it over your mouth!
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Ultimate Insult:

A Boy texts a girl.
Boy: Hey.
Girl: Hi! What are you doing?
Boy: Texting the most beautiful girl of the world.
Girl: Aww How cute!
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Boy: Ya! But she is not replying so I'm texting you!
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Most people have 5 senses;
Some people have 6 senses;
But you are blessed with 7 senses;
And this extra sense is Non-Sense!
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Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up!
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You are lucky to be born beautiful, unlike me - who was born to be a big liar!
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You are lucky to be born beautiful, unlike me - who was born to be a big liar!
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Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!
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I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying!
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If I gave a sh*t, you'd be the first person I'd give it to!
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If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphillis!
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Sometimes I need what only you can provide - your absence!
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How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
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The meek shall inherit the earth... if that's OK with you!
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If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms!
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You look like shit. Is that the style now?
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You have the face of a saint... a St. Bernard!
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A sure-fire way to lose ten ugly pounds: Cut off your head!
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Nice perfume, but do you really need to marinate in it?
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You're as annoying as an APP that turns sideways when you lie down!
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My attitude is a result of your actions. So if you don't like my attitude blame yourself!
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If you have something to say, raise your hand and place it over your mouth!
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I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with you since you're unarmed!
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After meeting you, I've decided I am in favour of abortion!
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Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you a worst advice!
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It's not that I hate you. It's just that if you caught fire, I'd roast marshmallows!
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If ignorance is bliss, you must be overjoyed!
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I don't regret burning the bridges. I regret that some people weren't on those bridges when I burnt them!
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Sometimes when I look at you, I just can't help but fantasize about kicking in your face!
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That was actually really funny. But I don't like you. I, therefore shall not laugh!
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Stupidity comes in all shapes and sizes. Some of them even look like people!
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Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot, but not acceptable for me to point it out?
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Let it be very clear to you - the only asshole I want in my life is the one that I sit on!
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I don't hate you. I'm simply not excited about your existence in my life!
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I didn't get your message because I deleted it without reading!
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Some people leave a mark on this world. You'll probably leave a stain!
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Let me know if I say anything that offends you, I might want to offend you again later!
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You remind me of my chinese friend... Ug Lee!
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People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason!
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You are so cute, just a second, don't misunderstand.
Cute means:
C-Creating.
U-Useless.
T-Troubles.
E-Everywhere.
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The last thing I want to do is insult you, but it is on the list!
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I don't hate you. It's just that if you were on fire, I would roast marshmallows!
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The problem with some people is that they're breathing!
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There is no ''u'' in awesome;
But there is a ''me''.
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Whenever someone calls me ugly;
I get super sad and hug them;
Because I know how hard life must be for the visually impaired.
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God thought that since he couldn't be everywhere;
He made a Mother;
Then devil thought that he couldn't be everywhere;
He made a Mother-in-law.
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I got 99 problems. You're 98 of them.
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Don't ask me stupid questions and I won't hurt your stupid feelings!
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Please don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!
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I'm allergic to stupidity, it makes me break out in sarcasm!
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Mirrors don't lie. Lucky for you, they don't laugh either!
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You are dumb
You are dum
You are du
You are d
You are
You ar
You a
You ar
You are
You are d
You are du
You are dum
You are still dumb
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I suffer from Alzheimer's... I always forget to give a shit!
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You are so fake that even
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China would deny to have made you!
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Text me when you're bored and I'll ignore it like I'm busy!
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It's better to step back when ignored... rather than wait to be insulted!
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I'm so talented that I can listen to music and ignore you at the same time!
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I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying if you got hit by a bus, I would be driving that bus.
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I'm sorry, what language are you speaking? It sounds like bullshit!
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I have a sixth sense, I see stupid people!
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I love everyone.
Some I love to be around;
Some I love to avoid;
And others I'd love to punch in the face!
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You're:
the jelly to my burger;
the knife to my soup;
the glitter to my sushi;
And the ketchup to my ice cream.
My point is, you're worthless!
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Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.
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Women like smart, caring, driven men with a good sense of humor because opposites attract.
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If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my a**!
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The day I get my driving license is the day you 'accidentally' get hit by a car.
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I might look calm, but in my head I've killed you a number of times.
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From the moment I saw you, I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life avoiding you.
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I hate two-faced people because it's harder for me to decide as to which side to slap first.
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From the moment I saw you, I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life
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avoiding you!
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Wish some people would just disappear. Quietly... Gently...
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B***h! I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
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I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.
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If you have something to say, raise your hand and place it over your mouth. I really don't give a F**K!
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Shit happens. I mean, look at your face.
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A pretty girl can kiss a guy;
A bird can kiss a butterfly;
The rising sun can kiss the grass;
But you my 'friend', can kiss my ass!
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Have you ever noticed that a lot of celebrities were pretty ugly as teenagers?
This only means that one day, you're going to be pretty famous!
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Wish some people would just disappear. Quietly, gently, softly.
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I wish I were a dog and you were a flower;
So I could lift my leg and give you a shower!
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Just because I'm smiling, doesn't mean that I don't want to hit you in the face.
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Life's a bitch. Oh no, wait - that's you!
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I was doing just fine before you came; but I think I'll be fine now that you're gone.
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Just because I'm nice to you, doesn't mean I'm fake. It means I'm mature enough to tolerate my hate towards you.
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People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason.
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I don't have a short temper, I just have a quick reaction to bullshit.
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I bet your ass is jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
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Your face is like a cloud. Once it goes away, my day gets a whole lot better.
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If you stop telling lies about me, I'll stop telling the truth about you.
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I saw a garbage truck driving yesterday. You never told me you were moving.
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Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
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I hope 'Karma' slaps you in the face before I do.
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I might look calm, but in my head I've killed you three times.
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Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.
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WARNING:
To avoid suffocation, keep my hands away from your neck.
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You're like the first slice of bread in the bag. Everyone touches you, but nobody really wants you.
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Sarcasm, because backslapping and stabbing the shit out of people is illegal.
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I'll make you a deal. If you stop telling lies about me, I'll stop telling the truth about you.
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Karma takes too long. I'd rather beat the shit out of you now.
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If I've ever offended you? Just know that from the bottom of my heart, I really don't give a shit.
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Can't stand me? Then sit down.